Addiction, Recovery, and the Return to Soul

I used to find myself saying frequently to others, “If you want to get into recovery, you need to change everything about yourself.” And while today I might still stand behind this idea, my understanding of it has evolved to a deeper meaning.
 
Many times people would respond back and explain some of the things they loved about themselves: characteristics, attributes, qualities—the paradox was always the same; some aspects of myself are there that I don’t want to change, while others must.
 
I have said before – addiction is a call from the soul, and to the soul. The soul desires its development, its fulfillment, its embodiment. When this, what Jung referred to as the “creative instinct,” is not able to be developed, there is a reaction.
 
To our betrayal of soul, might the soul betray us? For me, my ego was not strong enough to follow the calls from within but needed to externally fit in, be liked, be apart of. Instead of finding the home which I had been fated with by the soul, I chose to find the home that offered the most comfort and followed the ego.
 
As a result, my life took a sharp turn, the addictive experience ensued. The addiction experience as a call from the soul, is the souls attempt to kill itself. Not me physically, although we know thats the extreme experience – but, to kill itself as an attempt to begin again, to get back on its path, versus my path.
 
This led me to understand that the initial recovery experience was not a renewal; it was a returning. Changing everything about myself, meant to return to myself—not to create myself again, but to finally allow the soul to live fully and express itself through me. This is the experience of addiction calling me to the soul ; recovery, returning.
 
To change everything about myself as I understand it now is not to change anything at all – it is to let everything about me be. It is not to resist; it is not to control; it is not to desire understanding. It is to be imaginal, it is to be aloof, it is in so many ways to be a fool.
 
What did Mary Oliver say, “you only have to let the soft body love what it loves.”
 
The way I expressed it before now almost seems foolish…
 
Through this reflection, I find myself considering, what is the purpose of both the addictive and recovery experience? When any nomina takes over a collective in such a way that we have seen over the last near two decades, there is something more at play; what is the archetypal background of these nomina?
 
These nomina my be leading us back to the idea of the anima, to the notion of a soul, both in me, and of me. Might the addict who is suffering in actuality be the victim of this task – to return the reality of the soul into our lives today? In the same way the artist is driven by his desire to create, the scientist his desire to find truths, so the addict is one driven by the soul to return it into being…
 
Thus, the statement from the outset – addiction is a call from the soul, and to the soul is confirmed.
 
Addiction is a calling, and those who suffer are called; modern martyrs of our time. And until we can step back from our collective, rational approaches and understandings, they will continue to suffer and the problem will continue to increase…