The third stage of transformation the alchemists called citrinitas ; the yellowing. It follows the slow dawning of the souls return in the whitening, just as the sunrise follows first light. If the albedo stage is the moment when the soul begins to return, then citrinitas is when it begins to gain its voice, it begins to speak again…
This new stage marks a shift from survival to reflection. It is the time when light begins to return, not in a sudden burst, but a quiet glow emerging from within. One at this juncture begins to understand their behaviors not only as symptoms, but as messages. They speak of dreams returning, emotions deepening, and their personal history taking on new meaning. Insight has risen not from outside teachings, but from a growing sense of inner truth and authority.
“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” —C.G. Jung
In recovery, we often see a client move from external motivation to internal inquiry at this stage. The clarity of the albedo, often carried by the group, the structure of treatment, or collective recovery begins to “yellow” – losing its surface newness, but gaining psychological depth. One may begin to express their own insights, question previous narratives, and engage more actively in shaping their direction, moving into the experience of post-recovery This is the move from being held to holding one’s own process. It is at this juncture they begin to sense what Hillman called the “necessity of their own path.”
Insight once before given, now emerges from the inside out. We might hear people say things such as, “I see now that my addiction wasn’t just self-destruction, it was a search.”, or “I don’t want to go back. But I don’t want someone else’s version of forward either.” In the process of transformation, this was the stage the alchemist believed the inner gold began to announce itself. Having moved through the first two stages, one experiences this announcement of soul, not as ego-inflation – but as inner direction.
“The gold is not the goal. The gold is the soul that has been tempered by its own fire.” – James Hillman
At this stage, if the experience of transformation has been tended to in a manner of depth, therapy often starts to feel different. Clients start to bring more symbolic material such as dreams, images, and unexpected insights. No longer is the experience focused on problems anymore, they’re searching for meaning. The familiar question, “What’s wrong with me?” gives way to a more soulful one; “What is this experience trying to show me?”
At this point there’s often a temptation to lock things in too quickly. A meaningful insight can be mistaken for final truth, but the therapeutic task is to keep the image alive, not to resolve it.
“We must be careful not to take the symbol literally. For as soon as In the symbol becomes fixed, the soul escapes.” —C.G. Jung
In Depth Recovery, citrinitas is seen as the middle ground between breakdown and integration, between collective and post-recovery. It’s not the end, but it’s no longer the beginning. It’s where recovery becomes mythopoetic. Where one begins to live not by prescription, but by participation with the mystery of who they are, and who they might yet be…
