In today’s recovery world, there’s a common misunderstanding, and that’s just because someone is “in recovery,” it means they’ve changed. That being in recovery means they’ve healed. That surviving something like addiction, automatically makes them a guide.
But surviving is not the same as transforming, and recovery doesn’t always mean growth.
Sometimes, being “in recovery” becomes a role people play. It becomes another identity, a label, even a job title. They get praised for it through their communities, and gain social status, as they become “someone in recovery.”
But Jung warned us about this kind of role, he called it the persona—the mask we wear to get through the world. The danger isn’t just in wearing it, but in mistaking it for who we really are. And in recovery, that mask can look like strength, wisdom, or having it all together.
But the truth is, when we build our lives around that mask we end up hiding the parts of us that don’t fit it. These are our weak parts, confused parts, or ashamed parts of ourselves. These get pushed into what Jung called then called the shadow—everything we don’t want to see in ourselves.
The more we pretend to have it together, the more shadow we carry.
The more others believe in our mask, the harder it becomes to take it off.
In the recovery world, this shows up in all kinds of ways. As a sponsor who might crave control but call it “service.” Someone who may seem confident but hasn’t grieved anything. A person may speak truth but never face their own lies.
This isn’t real healing, it is but hiding disguised as recovery.
Depth Recovery aims to see-through the performance of recovery for real transformation. There is no confusion that being in recovery means being whole. And there isn’t a believe that just because someone’s been through it, they’re ready to lead others through it.
Real healing moves deeper, and leads one into a descent—going down into the hard places we usually avoid, stepping foot into those shadows. The grief, the fear, the unknown. It’s not about being impressive, it’s about being honest. It’s about going into the darkness and coming back with something authentic.
In myth, the true guides are always changed by what they go through. Chiron, the wounded healer lives with a wound that never fully heals. Persephone becomes Queen of the Underworld only after she’s taken there. And, Inanna is stripped of everything before she can return.
They come back with scars, wisdom, and soul. Let us not confuse being in recovery with being a guide. Let us not confuse being in recovery with doing the deeper work. And let’s not reward the mask, when what we really need is what lies beneath it, what scares some the most, themselves.
“The soul would rather fail at its own life than succeed at someone else’s” – James Hillman
“The cure for the pain, is in the pain.” – Rumi
